Sunday, March 06, 2005

So

So:

Just be forewarned that I like to start off entries with either "So" or "OK." Maybe I'll even begin with an "Anyway." Why? 'Cuz these tiny lil' interjections, as they're know in Parts of Speech Land, lend a conversational tone. Or so I like to believe. Hey, if they get me out of my forehead and a little closer to the middle brain, then I'm using them exactly as I should be.

I'm using them just as this 40-yr-old Irish Catholic prick from New England -- turned Castro Clone performance artist -- turned L.A. down-and-out -- turned Brooklyn hipster revitalized --would tend to use them, as predicted not only by the laws of probability, but more specifically, as those laws just happened to affect me.

OK: So,

Do I sound defensive? Well if you were around in the San Franciso law firm where I worked for two years as a paralegal, way back in 1990-92, and you saw all the red edits on the creative writing papers that I was fool enough to let the lawyers see during that tenuous and life-altering life stage -- then you'd understand. It was supposed to be CREATIVE, you see, but they just couldn't wrap their brains around a journal entry that started out with an interjection. My precious lil' interjecs were persistently crossed out -- in red. The comment was always, "Superfluous."

Why was I showing creative writing to the lawyers I worked for? Because they were paying for the course. You see, when they offered to grant me some benefits in the form of writing courses, for the purpose of Continuing Education, I took advantage of their inability to be more specific from the get-go. Fancy that. Lawyers forgetting to be more specific. I'll never forget the look on my boss' face when I told her which course I had chosen from the Berkeley Continuing Ed. catalog: Short Story Writing. She'd already told me, whilst chowing down some Kung Pao chicken somewhere in Chinatown, that I could take "any writing course I wanted." Once I'd made my choice, there was no room within the realm of human decency for her to renegotiate. The Kung Pao had sealed her fate. Perhaps if she'd had ordered Mu-Shu Pork, or something less akin to her gastronomic predilections, she would've caught herself. But as fate would have it, on that day, I had the Kung Pao advantage. Which, for some other guy at some other time in some other law firm, might have been the Beef and Broccoli advantage, or some other such menu-named phenomenon, hence my reason for citing the laws of probability.

OK: All I'm trying to say is, I like to start with "So" or "OK," and I think that should be OK. 'Cuz it lends a conversational tone. OK?

If you're looking for the blatant sex scenes and rowdy shenanigans of an aging disco queen/punk rocker (yes, the two can actually overlap), skip down a few entries. This is the background material that my OCD demands I spew forth. Even if nobody reads it.

So:



--- end report ---

1 comment:

susan said...

CHYA!